End of 2017

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So the end of the year is coming to a close, and I always find this is a time where I reflect a lot on the positives and negatives that have happened throughout the year. And the hopes, goals and anticipated adventures I will have over the next year.

The end of last year I’d flown back to Dublin, suddenly knowing that my husband left me out of the blue and I was going to be alone, in a city we planned on moving too together. I’d started that painful time of having to convince friends and family that yes, my husband really had left me, and no he wasn’t going to suddenly change his mind. I knew him, when he set his mind to something that was it. Regardless of whether this was the right decision or not.

There were a lot of low moments I felt during the year. I lost half of my family overnight (as typically happens during a divorce). Had to watch as the man who’d been my world disappeared over night, and then promptly moved another woman’s things into my home in London (whilst simultaneously seeing him lie about it). Looking back now, I’m surprised I didn’t have a breakdown at the beginning of the year to be honest. I came exceptionally close 3 times and the last of those moments terrified me, to the point I decided to take a year out from what was my life. In the hopes that I would heal myself. I’d like to point out this wasn’t to ‘get over my ex’. This is something that always rankles me, people assume I wasn’t over him. The thing I hadn’t come to terms with was that I’d spent the last 9 years of my life pursuing a white picket fenced dream that didn’t make me happy. And in the process, I’d completely lost myself.

There were some exceptionally positive moments during this year though where I gained more than I could have expected, or thought I deserved…

I realized what it’s like to have a family to support you no matter what. Got to know my sister on a completely different basis and finally understood what people say, when they say they couldn’t imagine life without her. Experienced my mother’s unfaltering support, to the level that in her mid- 70’s helped me pack up my life in Dublin, after I decided to take a year out of a high- pressured career.

Began to overcome my obsessive compulsive eating disorder and lost about 7 stone (which is about 98 pounds or 44.5kg). Started to write again, which has helped me to slowly find new ways to express my emotions (rather than eating through them). Took on my first outdoor challenge and travelled over 250k across Costa Rica coast to coast. Fell in love with walking, which has lead me to walk 1,000 miles on the Camino (raising ~€900 for Syrian refugees on the way).

I felt unexpected real friendship, when someone says ‘We’re not picking a side, I love you both’. Had endless visits, drinks and ears who listened unjudging. Had the joyful sparks of new friendships blossom and grow in Dublin, and then again with the walkers I meet on my Camino across Europe. And was completely blown away when one friend dropped everything to help me pack up my home in London (after, yes, you’ve guess, my minds 3rd attempt at having a nervous breakdown).

The bitter sweet edge at the end of year was falling in love again. But having to swallow the bitter pill when I realised I still hadn’t spent enough time alone, to know who I am, or at least not enough to be in a relationship again (without losing myself completely). But I’m trying to learn to be patient with myself on this. But patience has never been my strong suit!

And my hopes, goals and adventures for next year? Well, I’m hoping to kick my eating disorder permanently in the butt! Finish writing my first book (hopefully), or at least making a good start on it whilst lying on a sunny exotic beach. Walking 1,000 miles across Europe didn’t sate my love of walking, so I’ll be heading out on the Appalachian trail (2,200 miles) going from South to North USA. Then I’m hoping to head home to Dublin!

I hope you all have a wonderful end to your 2017 and all your dreams and wishes come true for 2018. See you in the new year!!

The Way

Sun rising, Sun setting

Cloud filled view

Sun peeking between

Rain beckoning through

Winds blurring my views

Sleet stinging my skin

Rainbows brightening dark

Moon lighting my path

Stars showing a way

The sky taking me away

Camino- Day 10 till Day 12 (81k; Conques to Cajarc)

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When leaving Conques it was the first time I’d spent the day alone and set my own pace through the walk. I found I spent the day listening to music and feeling the rhythm of my body. The pace I set myself was purposely hard, trying to see how far and fast I could go. Thinking through how the Camino worked I really tested this theory. As when you needed water, you’re likely to find this fairly easily. When you’re hungry, you’re likely to find a small shop or restaurant to get some food. And there are a number of Gites where you can find a bed to rest when you’re tired.

This was very freeing, and helped me to think through a lot of things. I’d come on the Camino to come back to myself after my separation from my husband. I’ve found that after spending a couple of days with the Magician and it’s made me question a lot of my life. The corporate environment, how I’d been ignoring my spiritual side, the level of respect I’d had for myself over the years (as I’d compromised myself for my marriage, which is very wrong). One point he’d picked me up on was the fact I say ‘Does that make sense?’ a LOT! He very intuitively realised that I say this because I’m looking for reassurance on what I’ve said, my opinion etc etc. It made me think how this, is just a small example of statements people make (in particular women), as it comes from a place of low self- esteem.

During my day 10 I got bitten by a sheep dog 7k before I reached Cajarc. I just want to say this is extremely unusual for any walker. The fact my dog bite got infected, is also unusual! So please don’t be put off about doing the Camino because of this. I eventually came into Cajarc and managed to meet up again with the English Lady and had a lovely evening with her as usual, although Cajarc itself was a rather unexciting small town that was literally dead at 9pm. Zombie Camino walkers can also be found there in May- September (you have been warned).

The views over these 2 days were beautiful small trees surrounded by old hedges and walls. The villages were few and long between which gave me a lot of solitary time that I needed at this stage in my walk.

It was on Day 11 that something happened I was never expecting. Because of my infected dog bite, I ended up staying in the Cajarc for another day. This is a long and painful story of faffing and trying to find a doctor. On my day 9, I’d purposely said goodbye to the Magician. I’d know when I met him that we both had a long and separate journey that we’d had to reach by ourselves. If not, I’m not certain I would have had the strength to leave his side, as our instant connection had been so intense. I’d never expected to see him again (as I’d had a very aggressive pace and he was suffering with tendinitis). But due to my dog bite, and the fact he’d been trying to catch me, but had been told by another pilgrim to rest in Cajarc so he’d stayed there (if not he would have carried on walking) then its likely we’ll have never met again. But to finish here, we’re currently still together sitting in the French sunshine drinking some wonderful beer (and now I have a beautiful story to write).

Camino- Day 9 Rest day in Conques!

Today I had a rest day in Conques. I’d like to say I wondered through the beautiful medieval town of Conques taking in the views, visiting the museum etc etc. But I didn’t. I was super lazy, which was wonderful considering I’d walked 221k in the previous 7 days.

Rest days are important to help re- set your muscles and joints when you’re doing so much exercise. Its important to not completely stop doing any exercise though, as it could cause your muscles to stiffen up.

I spent a chunk of the day thinking about where I would head next, actively knowing that I was going to be walking alone tomorrow. Up until now, I’d been walking with other people. This has been great so far, but part of the reason I needed to walk was to get sometime alone to think through what I wanted from life. And also to get sometime to contemplate what has happened through the last couple of years and to check in to find out whether I’ve really accepted and moved on from my impending divorce.

This is easier said than known. Grief (whether from a separation or death) involves a number of stages that you work through (shock, depression, anger, bartering etc) eventually leading to acceptance. It’s simple and easy to think that you have accepted this major change. But in reality, you may think you’ve accepted this because you can spend a day without thinking of them or you can think of them without any pain. But I’ve found that I can still fluctuate back to other stages of grief. This is typically as I keep working through the upset I had during the relationship with my ex (almost as if I never came to terms with any upset at the time). Or I’ll be working through new upset as the divorce is being finalised. It’s an important question for me to understand, as this will be one of the changes I need to closure on. So that when I move forward into a new relationship I won’t bring any of the toxicity from my divorce into it.

Camino- Day 8 (20k; Golinhac to Conques)

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I walked with the Lady today and met a young French man we met who I will call the Magician. We had aimed to try and reach Conques in the early afternoon, but we were enjoying a very leisurely pace today. Conques is the first major stop on the Chemin. Its also used as the stopping or starting point from Le Puy (as its about 200K away) which makes it a convenient 10 day break for keen ramblers.

Today I’d say that I had my first real experience of spirituality on the walk. For me there is a difference between religion (which I personally think can be done purely for the religion’s own benefit). Versus spirituality, which is God, fate, mother earth (which ever name you want to give it). For me, it’s the search for something bigger than yourself. The Magician is very clearly on a spiritual journey to find something more than he has at the moment. It’s been a privilege to spend the day with him, as hes one of those rare people that you meet where you can see something bigger being pulled around him, to help him find the answers. An example of this would be for some reason I felt a strong need to give him a bracelet I’ve treasured from home which has ‘Misneach’ on it. Misneach is Celtic for courage. After I gave this to him, he’d told me the day before a woman had given him a kind of tarot card to meditate on which had the word commitment on it. We then talked in detail about how you can’t have courage without commitment and neither can you have commitment without the courage to do so.

In the evening we luckily all managed to get to stay in the Abby in Conques, where we had the perfect view of the town. In the evening we went to the daily concert on in the cathedral where we got to hear the monks sing and an organ concert. It has to be the strangest experience to listen to house of the rising sun in such a religious atmosphere. But the night ended perfectly as the Magician and I took a late-night walk to stare at the stars and milky way sparkling out over the silence town wrapped in the valley.

Camino- Day 7 (34k; St Come d’Olt to Golinhac)

Today I learnt an important lesson about pace! The first half of the day the Lady and I walked fairly slowly, which meant in the afternoon when I was tired we had to push our pace quickly. Especially as we didn’t have anywhere booked! This was tough as it was also the first time I’d had to do 2 days in a row at over 30k in distance (before the slightly shorter day to Golinhac tomorrow).

The walk today was mainly across the river called the ‘Le Lot’ where in France you don’t pronounce he ‘t’ at the end of Lot. When we passed through Espalion we saw a sculpture of a diving suit, as this is where the French inventor Benoit Rouquayrol was born. He, along with Auguste Denayrouze invented the first diving suit (which was included by Jules Verne in his book ‘20,000 leagues under the sea’).

From here onwards, we would keep spending the day passing this medieval like hamlets. These seemed untouched by modern buildings and were surrounded by slopping grass covered valley’s with sporadic short trees. The towns became further and further between which meant I had to be practical about where I stopped to get food and water. To make sure I didn’t run out.

When passing through Estaing (before we eventually reached Golinhac), I couldn’t stop thinking it looked like where Dracula should live. As the main tower was reached by a bridge crossing over the river. This is one of the first places I passed where I’d liked to have spent more time to soak in the history. But as I’m trying to make sure I complete the majority of my Camino before December, I have to press on.

Golinhac itself is a small village on top of a blustering hill. There was nothing of note about this and the Lady and I ended up crashing into a campsite with a gite. This was where I got my first sight of the crazy people who do this walk and camped!

Camino- Day 6 (34k; Nasibal to St Come d’Olt)

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Today was the first of two days walking over 30k in succession before a shorter day to walk out to Conques. I’ve managed to work out to hit my time frame of finishing by the beginning of December I’ll need to average 30k a day. This will then allow me to have a complete rest day once a week.

The first 19k we did in really good time which allowed the Lady and me to stop for a coffee in Aubrac, before stopping for lunch in Saint- Chely- d’ Aubrac. Just before we got into Aubrac we reached a statue which really struck a corde with me. It said, ‘In the silence and solitude you will only hear the essentials’. This is a quote from Camille Belguise’s Echo’s of silence.

The walk in the first part of the day was across bleak hills, but the afternoon was spent walking from hamlet to hamlet with short breaks into the countryside. The most beautiful part of the day for me was in the afternoon walking through silver birch trees. The leaves had scattered to the floor in a carpet of soft red mulch. The sunshine sparkling through the remaining green foliage, dancing across the ground.

We also were lucky enough to meet a sturdy companion (a beagle who we named Chilly) who walked with us from Saint- Chely- d’ Aubrac. This was at first exceptionally worrying as we didn’t want him to be too far from home. But after bumping into a farmer he’d said Chilly did this most days, following the walkers (which seemed crazy as this was 15k walk each way for a pretty fat beagle), but goes to show what I know!

Once we arrived in St Come d’Olt we were lucky enough to get a place in the 12th century Convent. This was a yellow stoned building just outside the main town. When we arrived the setting sun lit it up so that it seemed bathed in a golden light.

Camino- Day 5 (27K; Aumont- Aubrac to Nasibal)

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The walk today was 27k but it’s the first time I felt like I had a lot more gas in the tank that I could use to keep walking. Today it turned out to be my last walk with the lovely German. I also started walking with a lovely English woman (who I’ll call the Lady). She reminds me a lot of my mum, they both have this indominable force that drives them through to their goals.

The walk through the hills reminded me a lot of Ireland. It also helps that it unusually won’t stop drizzling. Which isn’t too bad, but you end up day dreaming of important things like, how many of my clothes am I going to be able to get dry tonight? Along the walk, we were constantly surrounded by lots and lots of fields of a local breed of cow (Aubrac) which have a soft brown eyes and beige fur, with dark brown fur around their eyes.

Along the walk we encountered a 10 commandments of the Chemin (French for walk). It was a funny list, which was effectively asking people to be respectful of the locals. It did make me think that the Chemin in France has an incredible impact on the community. It provides a source of income (in rural areas where a lot of jobs have disappeared). But the religious elements of the walk have a real impact on a number of the walkers on the route as they stop to pray at the numerous chapels and crosses on the way. A number of people talk about the spiritual impact the Chemin has on them, and its unusual to not be impacted by this on the route.  I haven’t had one yet, but I find myself wonder and hoping if it’ll happen. And by wishing for it, does this mean I won’t have one?

We ended up out for dinner tonight as the Gite was very simple and didn’t offer dinner. I tried the local delicacy Aligot (basically cheesy mash potato with a shed load a garlic) and it was gross. Who ever said that local specialties had to taste good?



My days are rolling

The road is heavy

Mud soaked shoes tread lightly

But my pack drags

Carrying truths I offload

And leave here

To be lost in the French hills

Rain tips me down

Spots of sunshine

Pull out my smile

As marchers pull forward

Following the signs till the end

Pulling each other on

Each with a purpose

A question echo’d on lips

Family and bonds created

Within each Gite, bread broken

And funny stories shared

The marche

A right of passage

All must pay a toll

Some heavier than others

But all leave a weight

Off their back

Lighter than before

You return for normality

Dreaming of the hills left

And the peace of the way

Camino- Day 4 (23K; Les Faux to Aumont- Aubrac)

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Spent the day on the trail with the lovely German guy again and we talked about fuel for your body. One of the things I’m finding hard to adjust to on the trail is to understand how to fuel my body correctly. As I’m doing this for 3 months I need to make sure I feed my body with water and food correctly at the right points to enable it to do the physical challenge based on the length of my walk for the day. On day 1 of the trail when I got lost, I’d run out of food and water 18k before I reached the hotel for the night. Needless to say, I was in a very bad shape when I arrived. Think of it like a Hangry Godzilla, in the form of a 5’7 girl.

We first started walking through pine forest just after Les Faux which slowly thinned out as we hit larger and larger villages. A lot of the villages started to have this repetitive feel to them, coupled with the continual Iron crosses covered in stones which line the Camino. There are also continual signed which easily show you the directions that you need to follow the trail (called the GR65 here). Some of these signs point you continually towards the Saint Jacques de Compostelle. It was at this point I spotted one and saw I still had 1,464k to go to Santiago (plus another ~600k on the Portuguese Camino). Am I mad? Possibly, but my family’s not committed me…. yet…

In Aumont- Aubrac when we arrived the village was larger than a lot of the places we’d stayed. With cobbled winding streets. And even better, the Gite we stayed in had a place where we could do laundry! Hoorah! I will be less smelly for half a day before I get covered in mud again.

Camino- Day 3 (29k; Saugues to Le Faux)

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Walking from Sausage I had to make the decision where to stop, based on how far I wanted to walk the next day. Most walker stopped at Le Sauvage, which is a beautiful stone building built by the Templar Knights to protect pilgrims on their journey in the 12th Century. But by walking this distance, it would put the next stop 33k away. So I ended up staying out at Les Faux, in a 15th Century farm house.

The majority of the walk today was in mild rain. To me this was a light rain, but all the majority of the other Camino walkers I saw on the route were really upset by the rain. This made me think about something a friend had said to me before I left on my journey. Emotions will change every 5 minutes. But by thinking I’m having a horrible day because it is raining, this can make the majority of your feelings for the day be a variant on a negative feeling. But if you re- framed it to think all the plants smell so much fresher in the rain, you’ll enjoy the rain more, and your day. Now rain isn’t normally an issue for me, as I LOVE walking in the rain (as only a weirdo like me can). It washes down my face and feels like it cleans everything away. But with everyone feeling so unhappy, I found this did start to get me down a bit and I almost had to work harder to really enjoy my day walking through a stunning pine forest.

The pine forest with winding sand paths dominated the walk for the majority of the day with breaks in occasional small villages which look like they’re out of a fairy tale (and you’re about to be chased by the ogre hiding under the bridge). This eventually led to Le Savage, where I stopped with my German friend to have a hot drink. The building was very old, but the owners had obviously gone to a lot of trouble to give the buildings an authentic feel in their refurbishment. Walking around the building, you could certainly feel the atmosphere of the place as something special for pilgrims on their Camino.

Towards the end of the walk I came out to L’Hospitalet at St. Roch. Here the water coming out of the pipes is meant to have magical properties, I don’t know about that. I did try flapping my arms, but I’m still disappointingly not able to fly. One day!

Right next to this is the chapel at St Roch. Here I really started to see the challenge with English guides for this route. My guide stated the chapel is always closed. However, the chapel was open for pilgrims to visit and pray on arrival. Going on from here to Les Faux I came to the problem with my other guide, the distance in my guide should have had me finish at 26k, with the path going directly through Les Faux. However, my other guide was wrong. The path doesn’t actually go through Les Faux, its about 3k away from it. But none the less I arrived in to a beautiful open roaring fire and a gorgeous coffee to warm me.

Camino- Day 2 (19k; St- Privat- d’Allier to Saugues)

Today was a 19k (supposedly hard walk) from St- Privat- d’Allier through till Saugues. This walk ironically felt a lot easier because of a few different points though. I’d managed to off load some weight. This has meant posting back my walking boots and only using my trail running shoes moving forward, but my pack will be down to 25 pounds. I also walked with a lovely German man I met in the Gite the night before, which significantly decreased my chances for getting lost. And we set off about 9am.

The walk started out on tarmac roads up to the chapel at Rocheguade which was a left over turret of a 13th Century castle. The chapel has a stain glass window within it of St James (and the Camino shell). It had a natural serenity that all religious buildings possess and the view out onto the gorge at Rocheguade was beautiful. After dropping down from this we headed to Monistol d’Allier, then up the other side of the gorge. The rocks looked as though they’d been chiseled into by hand creating these odd peaks and troughs in the rock. Walking up further through Vernet, Rognac and then to end at Saugues was beautiful grass fields with hundred of grass hoppers. This reminded me of my childhood trips to France trying to catch the noisy creatures in bewildered excitement with my brother.

In the Gevaudan region (where Saugues is) from 1764- 1770 there was a Beast which takes the form of a wolf which hunted and killed around a hundred peoples. Before it was shot and killed by Jean Chastel in 1770. The town itself has some decorations in recognition of the Beast, but it was also one of the first places where the Camino started to come more alive for me. The well known shell symbols could be found on the roads, a number of Gites and hotels calling out, welcoming the pilgrims in.

Beginning of My Camino

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I started out on the Camino on 7th September (having had a long day flying into Lyon from Manchester).  I took the train out to Le Puy (which is famous for its lace and Puy lentils) where I went up to the cathedral to get my first stamp in my Camino passport and wondered around to look at the famous black Virgin Mary statue.

Le Puy is roughly in the centre of France, and is know for being a traditional starting point for the Camino all the way to Santiago. To be honest though, I only started from Le Puy, as I haven’t been to much of central France and I wanted to try and hit 1000 miles and this nicely took me to my target (on top of the Portugual and Camino de Santiago).

Having started out on my walk at 11am I started to confidently follow the easy signs on the route out of Le Puy. This was my first mistake. The walking pathways in France are very easily labelled. However, a number of different walks have the same colored paths but they go in completely different directions. So, the GR65 (which is the Camino route (mostly)) and GR470 can lead you in completely different directions. Along the walk I got to take in some breath taking views over Le Puy, then further onto narrow winding pathways. Although there were ominous grey clouds hanging over my head, I managed to stay dry all day.

So after having walked for about 3 hours I was starting to get a little concerned as I should be getting closer to completing my 23.5K for the day and arriving in my Gite at St- Privat- d’Allier. It was at this moment I finally took out my good old friend google maps, and it showed me I’d been contentedly walking in the wrong direction. For quite a while (massive British understatement!). Google happily showed me I had another 4 hours to go, to get back on my pathway. With a backpack of just under 30pounds (or 13kg) this was not a good introduction to my first day on the Camino. I quickly started to follow the route google showed, and slowly but surely got back on the right path.

I joined back onto the GR65 at roughly St- Christophe- sur- Dolaison. As it was nearing 3pm by this point I was completing the walk alone. But as I started walking through more and more fields I could see the French farmers coming out to continue working their fields. At one point I got to see a field of corn being harvested and got smothers in bits of chopped up green leaves.

As I slowly neared St- Privat- d’Allier I really started to question what on earth I was doing. I’d been walking for 7 hours at this point, run out of water and food several hours previously and felt wholly unprepared for my 1000 mile walk. It was at this point I saw the view out across the gorge in St- Privat- d’Allier. I stopped for a minute to enjoy the view and remembered this was why. It will continue to be a hard journey, but there will be moments where I’ll get to see something incredible.

During this walk I’ll be raising money for the Syrian refugees, if you’d like to sponsor me at all, please find the link here.

Beginning of a Journey

20170716_183400So I’ve been avoiding writing this for several weeks. I’m not 100% sure why, probably because although I’m about to embark on an amazing adventure and I’m going to have to say goodbye to Dublin (at least for a while).

I’m writing this in what has been my little slice of heaven, 20+ degrees, sunshine, and looking out on the beautiful port of Malahide with a tea in my hand. Why would anyone willingly leave this? Good question.. again, not 100% sure why, I just know that I have too. If I go back to the start, everyone says, ah, yes that makes sense. So my start is 22nd December 2016, my husband calls me and out of the blue and tells me he doesn’t want to move to Dublin (and part of that reason was me). To say it came as a shock is an understatement. Within 4 days, I faced accepting the man I loved intensely wanted a divorce for reasons I wasn’t ready to acknowledge or accept.

So, that’s my start, but my decision to pack everything up and walk 1000 miles on the Camino came some months later. I was back in my old house in Weybridge alone packing up the meagre parts that were 13 years of a black, white and grey relationship. Some things I opened and investigated, other things were too painful to do more than throw in a box (and hope in a few years will have lost their power over me). One thing I dared to open was a jewellery box my Dad had given to my mother (hats off to my epic pilfering (and sorry mum…you love me really?!)). In this was a chain I’d worn during my travels with my ex, which contained 2 St Christopher’s. Who would need 2, isn’t that a little greedy? Why yes! However, both mean a lot to me. One is my mum’s (again, sorry mum…got a feeling I’ll be saying this a lot in here!). The other, my mum gave to me, before I got lost in South America for several months.

Needless to say I pulled it out and put it on. Something hadn’t quite clicked yet. But little did I know, it was about to crash down, like an avalanche.

That evening my mum arrived and I managed to escape the house with her. After chilling out the next day, I had a horrible realisation about how much work I needed to do. So getting back to the hotel at 10pm, I opened up my emails, and began trudging through everything that ‘needed’ to be done. And when I say ‘needed’ to be done, it didn’t. The world wasn’t going to end, there was no emergency, there were no lives at stake. Just another over- demanding group of stakeholders who didn’t care I was on holiday, they just wanted me to get done what they wanted at their convenience. All whilst I was dreading the next day, where I’d be moving out of my home. It was at this moment the crash came. Here I was again, working till 2am, to satisfy some grumpy stakeholders, when I had much bigger things going on. What was I doing with my life? And this is when it hit me, I wasn’t doing my life. I was a passenger trying to make myself believe a white picket fence, with the 2.1 children would make me happy. And none of this had. If anything, it had taken me further from my happiness than I would have thought possible. Within 24 hours I just knew I had to walk 1000 miles on the Camino, and that was that.

And so now I have to say goodbye to my little flat. Something that’s been my sanctuary for the last few months. Where I’ve started to learn to come back to myself. And its because of this I’ve decided a few things:

  1. I’m a cliché… a British version of Eat, Pray, Love and, I love it!
  2. I’m very lucky that I’ve had a roof over my head. So I want to raise some money for those who aren’t as fortunate (the Syrian refugees). I’ve picked 2 charities to support (Movement on the ground and Football for refugees) and will be setting up my donation site imminently.
  3. Divorce is tough. Even when its amicable. And maybe the lesson’s I’ve learnt can help someone else out there. So I’ll be tracking my journey on my blog and hopefully I’ll have enough material to cobble a book together at the end.
  4. My feet are seriously going to hurt soon… Please send plasters… massage therapist.. someone to fan me and serve me peeled grapes.

See you soon, and as they say on the trail, Buen Camino! xox