It’s a subtle change
You seem just a touch happier today
The day I’m to leave you
Continue reading Ghost of Fear- #Poem #Broken heart
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Category: Divorced
History- #Poem #Moving On
Alone- #Poem #Depression
Poorly planned words fall from your lips
They echo through my mind
Fear and doubt churns in my stomach
And I’m back in that room
I just can’t escape
Truths don’t belong with me here
But the ghosts stay in my mind
I look for the keys
To escape from here back to you
But I can’t get out
I hear you outside
But I’m still alone in here
In the dark
the cold
Bye- #Poem #Poetry
Goodbye my lover
Au revoir my soul mate
Sianara to the hater
Ciao to your pain and anger
Hello to warmth
Good morning to passion
Bonjour to peace
Salut to the self
Misplaced Grief- #Poem #Poetry
I shouldn’t feel sad for you
Others in my place would rejoice
That you’re trapped a year on
Still in darkness of our divorce
But I just feel pity
As I moved on
But you’re just a shadow
No knowledge of who you really are
Letting someone tell you who you can be, who you can talk too
Moving On, Moving Away- #Poem #Poetry
You didn’t move on
But you are the one who walked out
I moved forward
But you decided to live in dark denial
Refusing responsibility for the hurricane caused
Try all the counsellors and books you want now
But even your new partner in crime won’t accept your sadness
The world wants a mask from you
Believing because you left
That you are the happy one
Guilt versus Responsibility- #Poem #Poetry
I have guilt
But you have the responsibility
You walked out
Without even trying to repair the holes you picked open
I said sorry for my part
As soon as I saw where I’d pulled a thread out
In that moment you said thanks for mistreating me
Today I called for the first time in months
And heard the sadness in you
Camino Day 63 (Villar de Mozarife to Astorga) 31K- #CAMINO #HIKING
Today was a day for sadness and excitement. I was excited because the Magician and I were only two days from Cruz de Ferro (a large cross). At the cross you could leave a stone you carried all the way from home here (to represent the burden you would leave on the pilgrimage). The one I had with me I’d actually picked up a few months before in Costa Rica. It had the strips of a tiger on it, representing to me, that if I wanted something badly enough, even I could Continue reading Camino Day 63 (Villar de Mozarife to Astorga) 31K- #CAMINO #HIKING
The Purest Self- Love- #Poem #Poetry
We gave up on each other
Replacements easily found
But pouring our energy away
Into a deep abyss of vampires
To return with no change
No boilstering of just me
The balance never in my favour
Times Residing Grief- #Poem #Grief
Time is the healer
Or the pioneer of my mind
Take the sharpness of the pain
To a permanent dull ache
Residing within my heart
A wrong to never leave
Coerced
You told me to let go
I was pushed down the path
Forced into being your stereotype
I wish I were free
Knew what it was to be loved
Allowed to be me
Without your tirade
Et tu Brute?
You forgot to tell me
Didn’t care to say
You were testing us
Testing the grass
Moving away
I would have accepted
Could have understood
But I’ll never know
I stayed behind
Clearing the weeds from my heart
Don’t fall my love
Don’t come back
The damage one
Beyond compart
And you proceeded anyway
Never to look back
At the trail of blood
From the stab wound in my back
The year
Memories burden me
Overwhelm me in their darkness
A year has past me by
The slow tick of the clocks
Echoing me in the silence of my heart
Time drifted on
And yet I feel no different
The pain a distant noise
Reverberations of lifes lessons
Ones I didn’t want
I still find no logic, no reason
For how someone walked away
No attempt to try, or even a kindness
Just a get the F$%k out
But tomorrows a new day
One to remember
That now I’m free
Of the bile of that life
The emptiness of being with you
Darkness no more
As tomorrow I switch on my light
Banishing you to the shadows
From where you once came
Faith
Looping round
Destructive patterns
Unable to break free
No reason to doubt
But my mind throws false- hoods
To confuse and lie to me
Making me want to run
When I should stay
Give time to you
To realise you’re not him
You are unique, as is your faithful love
Forgiving my ridiculous questions
Frightened actions
And need to run all the time
Know that I’m getting better
The need to run is shrinking with each kiss
Every message of love
Building the whole picture
Of our own enduring romance
Rosey memories
Take care of my memories
Look on me with rosey glasses
For my moments of anger
Laugh at my childish humour
Dance with me again in the moonlight
And remember my kisses with sweetness
My caresses with love
Set me free
To roam in your dreams
Never to darken your nightmares
With wings floating high
Blowing kisses and giggling like a school girl
Remember me with Kindness
Dwell on me with Love
So one day you might forgive
One day, you may return to me with Rosey glasses
Appreciative of the woman I grew too
Without the sunshine of your love
In the nourishment of my own Heart
