Ghost of Fear- #Poem #Broken heart

It’s a subtle change

You seem just a touch happier today

The day I’m to leave you

Continue reading Ghost of Fear- #Poem #Broken heart

History- #Poem #Moving On

History filled my nose

Unbidden of previous adventures

Continue reading History- #Poem #Moving On

Alone- #Poem #Depression

Poorly planned words fall from your lips

They echo through my mind

Fear and doubt churns in my stomach

And I’m back in that room

I just can’t escape

Truths don’t belong with me here

But the ghosts stay in my mind

I look for the keys

To escape from here back to you

But I can’t get out

I hear you outside

But I’m still alone in here

In the dark

the cold

Bye- #Poem #Poetry

Goodbye my lover

Au revoir my soul mate

Sianara to the hater

Ciao to your pain and anger

Hello to warmth

Good morning to passion

Bonjour to peace

Salut to the self

 

Misplaced Grief- #Poem #Poetry

I shouldn’t feel sad for you

Others in my place would rejoice

That you’re trapped a year on

Still in darkness of our divorce

But I just feel pity

As I moved on

But you’re just a shadow

No knowledge of who you really are

Letting someone tell you who you can be, who you can talk too

Continue reading Misplaced Grief- #Poem #Poetry

Moving On, Moving Away- #Poem #Poetry

You didn’t move on

But you are the one who walked out

I moved forward

But you decided to live in dark denial

Refusing responsibility for the hurricane caused

Try all the counsellors and books you want now

But even your new partner in crime won’t accept your sadness

The world wants a mask from you

Believing because you left

That you are the happy one

Continue reading Moving On, Moving Away- #Poem #Poetry

Guilt versus Responsibility- #Poem #Poetry

I have guilt

But you have the responsibility

You walked out

Without even trying to repair the holes you picked open

I said sorry for my part

As soon as I saw where I’d pulled a thread out

In that moment you said thanks for mistreating me

Today I called for the first time in months

And heard the sadness in you

Continue reading Guilt versus Responsibility- #Poem #Poetry

Camino Day 63 (Villar de Mozarife to Astorga) 31K- #CAMINO #HIKING

Today was a day for sadness and excitement. I was excited because the Magician and I were only two days from Cruz de Ferro (a large cross). At the cross you could leave a stone you carried all the way from home here (to represent the burden you would leave on the pilgrimage). The one I had with me I’d actually picked up a few months before in Costa Rica. It had the strips of a tiger on it, representing to me, that if I wanted something badly enough, even I could Continue reading Camino Day 63 (Villar de Mozarife to Astorga) 31K- #CAMINO #HIKING

The Purest Self- Love- #Poem #Poetry

We gave up on each other

Replacements easily found

But pouring our energy away

Into a deep abyss of vampires

To return with no change

No boilstering of just me

The balance never in my favour

Continue reading The Purest Self- Love- #Poem #Poetry

Times Residing Grief- #Poem #Grief

Time is the healer

Or the pioneer of my mind

Take the sharpness of the pain

To a permanent dull ache

Residing within my heart

A wrong to never leave

Continue reading Times Residing Grief- #Poem #Grief

Et tu Brute?

You forgot to tell me

Didn’t care to say

You were testing us

Testing the grass

Moving away

I would have accepted

Could have understood

But I’ll never know

I stayed behind

Clearing the weeds from my heart

Don’t fall my love

Don’t come back

The damage one

Beyond compart

And you proceeded anyway

Never to look back

At the trail of blood

From the stab wound in my back

 

The year

Memories burden me

Overwhelm me in their darkness

A year has past me by

The slow tick of the clocks

Echoing me in the silence of my heart

Time drifted on

And yet I feel no different

The pain a distant noise

Reverberations of lifes lessons

Ones I didn’t want

I still find no logic, no reason

For how someone walked away

No attempt to try, or even a kindness

Just a get the F$%k out

But tomorrows a new day

One to remember

That now I’m free

Of the bile of that life

The emptiness of being with you

Darkness no more

As tomorrow I switch on my light

Banishing you to the shadows

From where you once came

Faith

Looping round

Destructive patterns

Unable to break free

No reason to doubt

But my mind throws false- hoods

To confuse and lie to me

Making me want to run

When I should stay

Give time to you

To realise you’re not him

You are unique, as is your faithful love

Forgiving my ridiculous questions

Frightened actions

And need to run all the time

Know that I’m getting better

The need to run is shrinking with each kiss

Every message of love

Building the whole picture

Of our own enduring romance

Rosey memories

Take care of my memories

Look on me with rosey glasses

For my moments of anger

Laugh at my childish humour

Dance with me again in the moonlight

And remember my kisses with sweetness

My caresses with love

Set me free

To roam in your dreams

Never to darken your nightmares

With wings floating high

Blowing kisses and giggling like a school girl

Remember me with Kindness

Dwell on me with Love

So one day you might forgive

One day, you may return to me with Rosey glasses

Appreciative of the woman I grew too

Without the sunshine of your love

In the nourishment of my own Heart