Accepting the Moment

My stomach is churning

Unsure what is wrong

Turmoil is building

Let me give it a reason

A name

In a fight to decrease its power

But only feeds the monster

The negativity swirls down the sink hole

Taking me with it

Giving rise to my pain

Justifying my worry and reaction

The tears are lacerating

Into my minds eye

Refusing me purchase

The right to move on

Till I come home to my churning

Acknowledge it just is

And to let it lie there

Till its disapates

To nothing

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Sun versus the Moon

You envy my place in the stars

Yet you remain the indominable sun

You bring growth in those around

Life flourishing deep, connecting automatically

You ignite fire to allow growth and change

I silence the fires

Bring serenity in the lapping waves

I reflect in the sky

Merely through the gift of your light

The days I eclipse you

Can you not see?

That without your light

All remains dark

On those days hopes rises in me that you will finally take this lesson

That although we orbit

One is not better, Nor worse

We are

Jealousy misplaced

As you weren’t meant to cause the tides

As I was not meant to bring growth

But together we mean life

Circles of my Mind

The Tiger stalks

Through the bushes of my mind

Hunting its prey

Hoping surprise is on his side

To catch him unaware

And trap him between his claws

Unaware the hunter is hunted

In unison they circle

Just out of reach

Fulfilling life’s deadly chase

Never meant to be caught

But told to hunt and destroy

Failing to see the circle

The dependence of life’s infinity

That connection is beyond the traps

Removed from false hunger

They have merely to sit and listen

And in unison find acceptance

Beyond the disillusioned hunt

Peace beneath the Surface

Only receive

What you can take

Taking gives vapour trails

Lessons within veiled gifts

For those who are open

To connections without reciprocation

Unblocked to feel the sun

And peace of the moon

Serenity not on a Thai beach

Within the compass of your soul

To hear without expectation

Know without want

Resonating to yourself

And the verse that is your reality

A New

Balance on the board

Don’t tip over

Burrow into the depths

Till you rise

Clear and Pure

Cleansed by the harsh light

Layers purified into the deep

Realised potential

Balls of energy

Explode into life

Waves of decite push against

Leave them by the wayside

Let them ride through you

Never to deter you from your path

Freedom in your movement

To your rightful path

Bolistered by your believers

The strongest is yourself

Feeling your core of light

Taking you back

To the stars you were born from

Freedom in your light

Barrow

Hold me in your cup

Wheel me down your path

Rust stains my clothes

Crusts to my skin

Roll me out

Down the way

Unbidden speed

Flicking at my hair

Inflate my lungs

With fresh garden air

Childhood pleasures

Of wellingtons crunching leaves

Peace of a life well loved

In a barrow of trees

My Redemption Song

I knew who you were

Late

I listened to the wrong advice

Eagerly

Ignoring my never wrong gut

Easily

Hand blindly wrenched into your chest

Simply

My heart dripping your souls life blood

Staining

Death calling for me to come home

Madness

Spirit divided in dark dreams of pain

Punishment

Gaia tells me to have hope

Forgiveness

Because I stand waiting for you

Judgement

Peace comes in fleeting hopes of redemption

Faith

Numb

My taste buds have gone

My skin prickles in shame

Excuses echo pointless on my lips

Your righteous anger ringing out

How could you understand the why?

When I don’t understand myself

Just know I’m human

And made a mistake I’ll never recover from

I accepted responsibility when I told you

Not wanting my guilt to rot through us

But I see it’s too late anyway

The word hate rings out from your lips

And my stomach falls down

My wings ripped away

And I fall dead to the ground

I want to repeat the easy death of my ethereal self

To live in peaceful slumber

To numb myself to my betrayal

Because I can’t live in a chasm without your love

A never-ending eclipse

Cast from the warmth of your love

I know that would be yet another betrayal

So I wait in hope

That you can forgive one day

That one day you accept my apologises

And feel my love

Future

You’re chasing me down

At lightening speed

Pushing a direction of my feet

I feel the choice closing on me

Let me decide where my feet land

Freewill should be mine today

But fate is blocking my sight

Opening doors previously invisible

I can’t choose, but to walk

Through the closed route

Taking a life I was chosen for

Bidden to a route

Pleasure & happiness betraying me

Making me fight ridiculously

Believing happiness shouldn’t be mine

That I should remain trapped

In a stereotyped life

Ghost

ghost-love-poem

Your ghost is beside me

Lips tracing my own

Fingers entangled in mine

My memory is kind to you

Thinking you stand in the sun beside me

My rosey glasses say there was once love

It had been mututal

But my glasses are breaking

The illusion gone

But you ghost haunts me still

With your stinging remarks

Your cruel diffidence

My love had been unconditional

Limits found when you pushed me away

Not even allowing a goodbye

Chemin

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My days are rolling

The road is heavy

Mud soaked shoes tread lightly

But my pack drags

Carrying truths I offload

And leave here

To be lost in the French hills

Rain tips me down

Spots of sunshine

Pull out my smile

As marchers pull forward

Following the signs till the end

Pulling each other on

Each with a purpose

A question echo’d on lips

Family and bonds created

Within each Gite, bread broken

And funny stories shared

The marche

A right of passage

All must pay a toll

Some heavier than others

But all leave a weight

Off their back

Lighter than before

You return for normality

Dreaming of the hills left

And the peace of the way

Peace

The water ripples

My heart beats in time

The wind pulls my breath out

Slow clamy sea salt

Carressses my lips

I feel you deep inside

Calming my nervous thoughts to silence

You are here with me

Blinded before by the noise of life

I couldn’t spot you holding me up

When I couldn’t hold myself

Death talking to me

Telling me to just let go

But there you were

Waiting for my chatter to stop

Telling me to hold on

Keep being strong

In all your subtle signs

Stopping my lonely tears unexpected

A warms summers heat

On a rainy day

Keeping me alive

Bringing me to the peace of life

New World

Clouds are lined with pink

Hearts are warmed by sunlight

Hope burns bright in the air

My life is born today

Energy once lost fills my bones

Life pumps in my muscles

Divinity clears my head

Giving peace to my chatter

Journeys beginning and ending in a moment

Life burning bright, with you holding my heart

My world expands out

To reach places previously silent

Now my world is brimming

With flavors anew

Some exquisite, some off putting

But all form a mosaic

Of what a beautiful new world I’m in