We had a steep uphill climb to Alto del Perdón, which the Magician and I found fairly easily. We slowly passed more and more other walkers, as they struggled up the hill. Again our conversation drifted to open relationships. Although I’d been worried once we reach the beginning of the Camino Frances that there would be a number of women that would catch the Magician’s eye. What I realised was reality and my expected fears were completely different. On the Camino there are few women, and even less women that walk by themselves. When women do arrive their alone they tend to pack into these tight groups. Which then bring endless amusement to me, reminding me of the teenage school dances where the boys would try and pluck up the courage to get one of these illusive pretty creatures alone to say they liked them.
So with all my fears and worries starting to vanish that the magician would immediately run off with a prettier skinnier blonde woman, I started to open more to trying to understand what the Magician was saying. He wanted an open relationship because it would provide him with freedom. Freedom is the most important thing in any relationship to the Magician. Yes, that’s right, freedom. Because he was assuming that being in a relationship meant he couldn’t do what he wanted when he was in a relationship. He couldn’t travel where he wanted alone, admit that he found other women attractive or even spend time crashing in front of the TV watching what he wanted on TV.
Whereas to me, honesty was. In a relationship, you can say the most brutal thing to me, but as long as you’re honest with me, I will still respect and trust you. If you lie, or are selective with the truth, I struggle to forgive (which is to say I will say ‘I forgive you’. But as my ex- husband knew only too well after lying to me, I would hold it against him for years to come. You said you would make dinner for this time, well you didn’t, this is exactly like when you lied to me 5 years ago and you said you’d change. Cue tears, storming out of the room, throwing myself on my bed and throwing my legs and arms around like a toddler, until the world would realise no one had been wronged, as I had been WRONGED!!!
I continued practicing having an ‘adult’ conversation about what was important to us in a relationship all morning. A nice change from my previous experiences. We eventually climbed through the dessert to the top of the Alto del Perdón. This is the commonly seen bronze statues of the pelegrino’s. We sat and had lunch here with my French Camino mummy and another friend who own a farm out in France. The view was beautiful looking out onto the plato with straggly bushes all around. We sat sharing our bread, apples and the last of our Saucisson from France.
The Magician and I spent the afternoon walking slowly downhill together till we reached Puente La Reina. When you reach the entrance of the town you’ll see this beautiful tower on the church there. The town had two main streets. One smaller beautiful alleyway, with lots of historic shops and cafes. The other a typically busy road with large super markets. After reaching the main street we stayed in an upmarket Albergue so that we could spend the night together. Being on the Camino with so many new people we’d started to spend less and less time alone just the two of us. And I’d realised that the Magician had missed that time just the two of us, just as much as I had. Funnily enough, our French Camino Mummy had stayed in the same Albergue as us. We spent part of the evening enjoying a beer together on the Albergue’s terrace, overlooking the town in the moonlight. We went to bed early, where the Magician and I spent what was a very romantic night for me… he sang French love songs to me for a few hours, holding me close in his arms, stroking my hair. When I told my sister about it, she told me this would be her idea of hell. Which left me in fits of giggles. As that’s very true. What my idea of being exceptionally romantic is another person’s idea of hell. All this did was keep showing me I love my sister to bits, and it was wonderful to met someone who’s idea of a fun evening, made me melt into a puddle of goo.