Despair

I give over to you

As a thousand times before

My faithful friend

I fall into my usual rhetoric

It feels simple, easy, uncomplicated

I don’t have to think

To feel your loving arms around me

Taking me to the oblivion I crave

Here I don’t have to think

I just am.

Selfish, wallowing in the self

Take me away from the sunshine

Into the darkest recesses of my mind

Create evidence of my continued failure

Despair absolute

On my isolated island of pity

To choke on my own denial

Of a world across the sea

Life boats occasionally float past

Looking for signs of life

Turning my back

Secure in the knowledge I would drown

As how could they accept

Believe in me

Love me?

Save me?

If I don’t even want it myself

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