The Magician and I set off fairly late from the Alchemist Donativo. Looking to have what had become our second breakfast of croissants as we left the large town. A small bit of education on French patisseries. About 70% of them now order in their croissants. However on this part of the Camino apparently a lot of them actually still make theirs in house. And with my palette, I can’t tell at all. But if you want to eat the best, just follow the French. I’ve never met a group of people who are so good at knowing the difference for whats the best. But this also comes to the challenge that you will never lose weight on the French part of the Camino. The food’s just too good! Yummy!
We were finally returning to loping fields of green grass as we got closer and closer to St Jean (the start of the Camino de Frances). The temperatures became less fierce and we were covered by more shade during our walk now. Our discussion for most of the day was intensely debating the intent of the two Donativo’s we’d stayed at so far on the Camino. The Alchemists place matches who he is completely. What he wants to do, which is have every walker leave in a better place than when they arrived. And that they’re able to keep walking. At the Bonheure Donativo though its about being able to live life in the way they want. The people they serve doesn’t come into it at all. This was something that didn’t feel congruent for me. As why would you be on the Camino to help the walkers, if they didn’t come into it. Otherwise this just became a way for you to live from others.
This made me feel very uncomfortable to be honest. As this tapped into one of my languages of love. So for those of you who haven’t read it, there’s a book called the 5 languages of love. This is one of the best books I’ve ever read on understanding how people express love. In simple terms there are 5 languages, based on words, gifts, quality time, servitude and physical. But you need to read the book to really understand this (which I can’t recommend enough!). After spending so much time with the Magician (who lets me be me) I started to understand that I suppressed one of my main languages of love. Acts of servitude. When I first met my ex, he said to me I have a mother already, I don’t need another. Since then I suppressed this expression of mine. So I eventually saw I connected with the Alchemist because his language of love was completely driven by servitude. And I connected completely with this. Whereas I hadn’t at all at the Bonheure. Not to say that one is right or wrong, but it was simply with how I connected to the intent of the two places.
After our beautiful walk together I start to feel closer and closer to the Magician. During our weeks walking together we started to understand our little intricacies, and habits. My ex husband and I used to talk about the most important thing in a relationship was to help the other grow. With the Magician I started to realise this hadn’t been true with my ex for a very long time. And I also started to pick up the Magician had a habit of arguing his opinion very strongly. On the one had this was good because he was pushing me outside my comfort zone. But on the other hand I’d been in a relationship which over 13 years I’d argued, erm maybe 4 times with my ex. So this isn’t something natural for me. And as the last arguments I’d had with my ex resulted in us splitting up, my instinctive reaction was either to roll over in the hope he wouldn’t ‘leave me’ or to literally storm off declaring this was it, we were over. Neither of these is really conducive to an open communicative relationship. And to be honest, I’m still not much better at this. The difference is now the Magician’s spotting when I’m doing this and tells me we’re not arguing or no I can’t use that as an excuse to run away and I should sit still. Either of these outcomes has a very funny picture in my head of my legs doing a weird little jig!
We ended the walk at a gite run in an organic farm. The dinner was INCREDIBLE!! The food was based on what they grew themselves. The cheese platter alone had 12 different types of cheese. The woman who ran it obviously made no money from running the Gite. She did this purely for the magic of the Camino walkers, as her mother had before her. Her mother had died a few years earlier, and you could easily see that she still did it for her. It was very beautiful, and brought a smile to my face for the rest of the day.