Second day in Costa Rica, and we’ve been cast off to entertain ourselves at the Pacific side beach. The beach here is a mottled grey and beige. The sea smells salty and tastes sweet on your lips. The rip tide will easily drag you out and under the 6-10 foot waves.
Black lava rocks expelled from the sea, like majestic natural sky scrapers smothered in tropical greenery. Mangroves sprouting in quiet alcoves of the sea, with families laughing and paddling together.
Surfers jump in and out of the waves, with life guards yelling and whistling at them constantly to move on. Couples cheekily smothering each other in the contrasting sand, laughing at the disarray.
Street sellers hawking their toy wooden snakes and clay painted whistles in imitation of colourful macaws. Homing in on any tourists in optimism of an over priced sale.
The day leaves me aware that I stand at the beginning of my journey and the things that scare me are very different to other people. Going to a new country, trying strange foods, and meeting new people doesn’t bother me. As people are fundamentally nice, and its unusual to meet unkind ones. For me the challenge is to be alone. And I don’t mean to just spend time alone, this is being single. I’ve been in long term relationships since I was 15years old. I’m now hitting close to 8months since I separated from James. And it’s been weird, enlightening and scary for me. I like being in a couple, so to try and activitely choose to be single for a while goes completely against my grain. But the next few months on the road (especially walking 1000 miles on the Camino) will help me to work at it. So that I can learn who I am. Because at this moment in time, I can be anyone, do anything.
With this question of what do I want, you can start to apply this to anything and everything. This becomes an endless list of limitless possibilities. Which on the one hand is incredibly freeing. The other, becomes exceptionally limiting. This is because when you have so much choice, you naturally take the easy route, the most travelled, the stereotypical one you’re expected to take.
This thought was jumbling through my head when I saw the Kokopelli (the piper in the picture above). He is a Native American deity, representing fertility, traveller and story teller. I wasn’t expecting to see him here, but it makes me think I’m here to tell a story, so its very serendipitous that he was there to remind me. I don’t have the answers yet, but hopefully I will at the end of my story.